There are thousands of desires, each worth dying for. I have achieved many of them, yet I yearn for more. Undoubtedly, I remain dissatisfied most of the time.
Am I alone in this journey? Maybe not.
We live in the safest, healthiest surroundings. We have achieved so much in terms of success and passion. Still, some part of our psyche makes us look dissatisfied and seeks an escape from unpleasant things that constantly churn us.
Trust me, satisfaction and happiness are matters of inner feeling. The root cause of our dissatisfaction lies in anxiety. When our mind is worried, it does not let us be happy. The reason is that most of us are trying to be someone better than who we are right now. We humans always seek approval from outside instead of from ourselves.
Surprisingly, the underlying psychology of dissatisfaction is hardwired within us. We are trained from childhood to seek more and more and to be inclined toward better things. We're encouraged to reach for the stars, chase our dreams, and never settle for less. While this ambition can drive us to great heights, it can also be the source of our discontent. No matter how much we achieve or how many goals we check off our list, there always seems to be something more to desire, just out of grasp. A survival mechanism is ingrained in our DNA. It's also deeply intertwined with our emotions and psychology.
Remember, satisfaction is not a degree we can possess all our lives. It's a meditation, a state of mind, a thought for which we need to keep working throughout our lives. Samuel Johnson, the poet, said, "My life is one long escape from myself." It's true for me, and maybe for you too. The reality is that we need to feel content or satisfied, but in fact, we rarely think of ourselves as happy.
What are the reasons behind discontentment?
Boredom: It is a human tendency to avoid boredom altogether. In a counseling session, participants were made to sit in an empty room doing nothing but thinking for fifteen minutes. The study demonstrated that people dislike being alone with their thoughts so much that they prefer to do anything else, even if that activity is harmful, thus ending up dissatisfied.
Negative Feelings and Unhealthy Rumination: "It is true that the impact of evil memory is greater than that of good memories. It may not be ethical, but it is a common phenomenon. This tendency may be primarily innate. As emotional beings, we remember bad memories more deeply than good ones. Negative psychology ensures that adverse events are felt more deeply, demanding more emotion than regular or positive events.
Overthinking: We tend to think more about unpleasant experiences and compare them with those of others, considering that the grass is always greener. This unintentional comparison of one's current situation with some unachieved standard makes us self-critical. Self-guilt crops up with "Why can't I handle things better?" The inevitable outcome is self-made dissatisfaction. Thus, instead of reflecting on what went wrong and why, if we focus on how to rectify it, we may discover alternative strategies to improve through a potentially helpful process.
It is an inherent human tendency to return to a baseline level of satisfaction or dissatisfaction, regardless of what happens in our lives. Nature's bait-and-switch reaffirms that any pleasant life event can temporarily make us happier, but not for long. All pleasant experiences, passionate love are temporary contributing to dissatisfaction of losing them at any point of life. We humans may be wired to pursue happiness, but we lack the skills to experience it.
While crystallizing the human tendency to deal with happiness versus dissatisfaction, we understand that dissatisfaction is not defeat.
If we feel unhappy with life, that doesn't mean we've been defeated. The ultimate takeaway is that if we feel unhappy, we're normal. So, let us not be critical of our lament for happiness. Instead, let us revel in the thrill of the chase, in the exhilarating dance of desire. Let us embrace the fire within us, igniting our souls with passion and purpose. In our ceaseless pursuit of more, we discover the boundless depths of our humanity, the limitless potential that lies dormant within us all. So, let us chase after our dreams with wild abandon, knowing that in the end, it's not the destination that defines us but the journey itself.
Dissatisfaction may trigger rightful action and doable advancements. Unless and until we feel it, we may be at a severe disadvantage of not knowing a better approach to life's problems.
Lastly, discontent is not a reason to give up on success. Instead, it's a striking impetus to introduce new ways for meaningful ventures into our lives. It's important to understand that struggle and hard times are part of being human. Tough times do not last, but tough people do. Achievers push through the discomfort rather than trying to escape it with distraction.
People often find themselves dissatisfied in life when their actions do not align with their value system. Your value system defines the attributes of the person you want to be. Focus on your dreams. Keep them practical, take control of your life and emotions, and challenge yourself to explore your inner wisdom. We can do this effectively when we incorporate our values into our calendar. In other words, we are scheduling time for what matters most.
Ultimately, we can look at what we intend to do, compare it to what we did, and celebrate our victory when we stay on track by being authentic.
Author Bio
Meet Nayan Rath, a dynamic mom, former faculty and banker, and a versatile author of over 20 coauthored and 3 solo bestselling parenting guides on Amazon Kindle. Certified in IIB, CBT, REBT, DMIT, and holding an MBA, she integrates her diverse journey into insightful narratives that blend parenting, relationships, and emotional resilience. Recognized as the Most Popular Author at the TUS Writer Award 2022, Nayan combines classroom insights, financial expertise, and emotional understanding to empower families, advocating that every emotional investment enriches the bank of family bonds.
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