As the skies hesitated on whether to bless us with rain or to just adorn itself with more clouds, my home brimmed with a delightful Saturday atmosphere. Here I sat at the dining table, flitting between typing an essay, pondering about my talk show, and stealing glances at my phone as I was awaiting for a crucial update. Beside me, my daughter delved deep into her math homework, while my son cradled a book before him, his gaze occasionally drifting to the air conditioner that rested dormant after adequately cooling the room.. A Ted Talk on the climate crisis revealed the unsettling truth of individual carbon footprints surpassing even those of factories. A pledge was born within me - a pact to drop the electronics usage that exhaled greenhouse gasses. My son was obviously not happy with my endeavors to curb the CO2 emissions.
I focused on my writing, a craft that fuels my passion and for which I get only one day. However, the antics of my last production were determined to catch my attention; his difficulty was remaining still and reading. It's strange that even though my parenting remained the same for both of my kids, my daughter is very dedicated, intelligent, and adorable, while my son is naughty, mischievous, and smart. Apparently, the kids' psychology and behavior are predefined by their DNA and have an influence that is equal to minutiae from their parents.
I shut down my laptop and looked at my daughter, so much immersed in her work, while my son’s eyes twinkled with delight because he knows that now, as per the routine, it’s time for delicacies.As I sauntered to the kitchen, I asked my son, 'what were you reading?' I knew he had not read a single word; I hadn't seen him flipping one page nor had I seen him looking at the book. In fact I firmly believed that he had looked at the clock and everything in the house but the book in his hands. ‘I was reading about Benny’ he said with conviction. I bought, and I have regretted, a book set of Benny and his travels to 12 different countries.
All the books inform the readers about the countries, capital currency, flag, cuisine and many other things. The problem started when my daughter who had read those books when she was 8, 2 years back, started asking to go to those countries. And she had been consistent about her wants, Vacation at Paris, Mexico and London. I did not see that coming. Anyways, I knew those stories, and that my son who was reading Benny in Japan has actually not read anything. I add butter to the pan, and wait for it to melt and at that I was determined to catch my son of his falsehood. My intention was to teach him about speaking the truth and the importance of reading.
“So. what is the currency of Jap…” “Japanese Yen'' he yells without letting me finish my question. I saw that the butter had melted, so I added parsley, chili flakes and oregano to it and let it simmer for a few seconds. I asked him another question from the book, “which friend comes to receive him at the airport.” Now I have to show that I am smarter than him, and I know he hasn’t read. I asked him a trick question. “No. You are wrong, it was a guide. His name is Akio. A K I O, Akio. And mumma there is no mention of the airport.” he declared, making me look wrong instead.
I had been watching him, he had not read anything. And yet he could answer the questions. I turn off the heat and take the pan down. I failed to turn off the heat of my anger as I was unable to give a lesson that I was planning, and my chest swelled with pride as my son had proven to be damn brilliant. His answers only proves that even if he reads playfully, he could remember it easily and he does not fall for tactics. I however am not going to share that feedback, I want them to be intelligent and soft spoken both.
When I started applying the buttermix on bread and added grated cheese on top, my daughter made her announcement. “I finished 80 sums from this book. 20 sums will do after I eat as I can't resist the smell. Please hurry, this smell is so delicious it is making me hungry. You're making garlic bread, right?”
“Yes, my bumblebee,” I smiled. Apparently, only the smell of food can distract my daughter. “So you finished 80 sums?” I asked and ignored that my son was making a fleet of cars on the sofa. “Yes mom, but then you started cooking and I got hungry.”
“That's ok, love. You can take a break” I had said this to my daughter. But, “Thanks mumma, I will take a break.” I heard my son replying. I love to talk to those kids. It was a tad strange when the normal conversation reached those about life choices. I asked my daughter to choose between food and homework, “If it’s garlic bread and chocolate shake, I choose them or I will choose homework.” She said with conviction. “And I want to go to Japan also” I snapped at the book my son was reading and kept it on the bookshelf; she pouted.
“You work hard and go wherever you want. Don’t put that pressure on me” I suggest kissing her forehead, secretly calculating my finances and planning an international trip within a year or 2.
Mostly, the conversations with my kids are often scattered around their studies and life in general. And I still did not remember what forces of nature made my daughter give this statement, “Oh mom, I am not getting married okay.” I was shocked to hear that. Reflecting on a turbulent childhood where I felt neglected and blamed by my family, I harbored a belief that I was the root cause of every misfortune, my thoughts started storming around my whole relation with my husband and any chances we have portrayed ourselves or our relation as bad influence. I also believe that all the love that I ever knew had come from my husband and my kids only. I take a deep breath and ask my ten year old daughter to explain herself.
“Mom, I only want to work, watch netflix and order from Zomato.” she declares with so much confidence and allure. “And and and I want to go to Japan, Paris, Mexico and all other places.” I looked at that small, radiant and nonchalant face. I stare at her, deep in my thoughts that this is truly Gen Alpha. They know exactly what they want from such a tender age.
As I finished blending the chocolate chip cookies, milk, cocoa powder, and vanilla ice cream to make cold cocoa, a sense of realization washed over me. These whimsical conversations with my children, though sometimes chaotic, held within them profound lessons about life and the pursuit of happiness.
In the midst of juggling familial responsibilities and personal aspirations, I came to understand that while relationships are undoubtedly crucial, so too is the cultivation of our own identities. As a woman, it's essential to prioritize our passions, ambitions, and dreams alongside our roles as mothers and partners.
These interactions illuminated the importance of finding fulfillment beyond the confines of traditional gender roles. They reminded me that work, whether it be pursuing a career, indulging in creative endeavors, or simply following our passions, can provide a sense of contentment and purpose that relationships alone may not always offer.
So, as I savored freshly baked garlic bread along with cold cocoa, I made a silent vow to honor both my relationships and my individuality. For in the balance between nurturing connections with others and nurturing our own souls lies the true essence of a fulfilling life.
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