Sameer Gudhate Presents the Book Review of Growing Together Without Growing Apart: An Inspiring Journey of Service, Sacrifice, and Shared Dreams by Lt Gen Rajeev Kanitkar and Lt Gen Madhuri Kanitkar
- Sameer Gudhate
- 1 hour ago
- 3 min read

There’s a quiet power in watching two lives unfold in parallel — ambitious, demanding, and yet beautifully intertwined. Growing Together Without Growing Apart: An Inspiring Journey of Service, Sacrifice, and Shared Dreams by Lieutenant Generals Rajeev and Dr. Madhuri Kanitkar is that story, told with honesty, warmth, and a rare intimacy. Co-authored by the couple themselves, the memoir goes beyond ranks and postings, offering readers a window into how two extraordinary careers and one remarkable marriage were carefully balanced over decades.
At the heart of this book is Dr. Madhuri Kanitkar, one of the highest-ranking women in the Indian Armed Forces and the third woman ever to achieve a three-star rank. Her journey is remarkable not just because of her professional accomplishments, but because she achieved them in an environment historically dominated by men. Reading about her rise feels inspiring, but it is the context — the shared life with her husband, the personal sacrifices, and the unwavering support that carried her — that makes the story resonate far deeper than a typical military memoir.
For me, the book struck an even deeper chord. My father served in the Indian Air Force, and the disciplined cadence of military life — the reveille, the sharp uniforms, the quiet dedication — was a constant presence in my childhood. I had wanted to join the Army from day one, to serve, lead, and be part of something larger than myself. Reading the Kanitkars’ memoir felt like stepping into a world I had long dreamed of, yet seeing it through the lens of shared partnership and love added a dimension I had never fully imagined.
The memoir’s structure is one of its most compelling features. Rajeev Kanitkar narrates each chapter, reflecting on shared experiences, the challenges of military life, and his observations of his wife’s extraordinary career. Every chapter closes with a postscript from Dr. Madhuri Kanitkar, offering her own reflections and emotional insights. This dual perspective adds layers of depth to the narrative, allowing readers to witness both the personal and professional journeys from complementary viewpoints. The effect is intimate yet expansive, a delicate dance between two lives moving forward together.
At its core, the book is about the principle that gave it its title: growing together without growing apart. The Kanitkars recount moments of pressure, long-distance postings, and personal challenges, yet they remained a united force. Early in her career, Madhuri considered stepping back under immense pressure, and it was Rajeev’s steadfast encouragement that reminded her — and readers — that partnership is about shared strength. Their story captures how ambition, love, and dedication can coexist when nurtured with care and mutual respect.
The memoir also highlights broader themes that extend beyond military life. It chronicles the resilience required to break barriers, the power of mutual support in a partnership, and the lessons of leadership, perseverance, and personal fulfillment. Rajeev’s reflections underscore how success is often a shared endeavour, where celebrating one another’s achievements strengthens the bond between partners. Together, the Kanitkars offer a masterclass in balancing personal and professional lives without compromising on either.
This is not a book of dramatic reveals or sensationalized episodes. Its power lies in the quiet authenticity of its storytelling. The narrative moves gracefully through milestones, challenges, and reflections, giving readers a sense of walking alongside the authors through decades of service, sacrifice, and love. The pacing is deliberate, the perspective honest, and the themes resonate universally — whether in the context of the armed forces or any partnership built on respect, shared ambition, and commitment.
Figures like Kiran Bedi have praised the book for serving as a guide to balancing ambition with affection, and it’s easy to see why. The memoir offers a rare glimpse into what it takes to thrive individually while remaining deeply connected to another person, all against the backdrop of demanding professional lives. It reminds readers that true partnership is not about compromise alone but about uplifting each other to reach greater heights.
Growing Together Without Growing Apart is a memoir that lingers. It’s a celebration of courage, dedication, and love that endures. For anyone curious about life in the armed forces, or for anyone navigating the balance between career and relationships, the Kanitkars’ story offers insight, inspiration, and quiet guidance. Their journey is a testament to the power of shared dreams, showing that two lives can rise together without ever drifting apart.
Pick up this book, and step into a story where service and love are not at odds, but in perfect, enduring harmony.
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